Couples Therapy
Even strong relationships can become difficult to navigate when communication breaks down, conflict escalates, or partners begin to feel distant from one another. Couples may seek therapy during a major transition, after a rupture in trust, or when intimacy and closeness have changed.
Every couple develops a story over time. Past experiences, family histories, expectations, and cultural messages can shape how partners understand themselves and each other. Sometimes those stories become part of a cycle that is difficult to step out of—one person reaches for connection while the other pulls away, or one becomes more critical as the other becomes more defensive or withdrawn.
Couples therapy offers a space to slow that cycle down, understand what is happening underneath it, and begin creating different ways of responding to one another.
What We Can Work On
Couples therapy may include:
Communication and recurring conflict
Emotional disconnection and difficulty feeling understood
Rebuilding trust after infidelity or other ruptures
Sexual desire, intimacy, and differences in preferences
Jealousy and insecurity
Power dynamics and gender roles
Becoming parents and adjusting to new demands
Grief and loss
Major life changes
Questions about the future of a partnership
Moving Beyond Blame
When couples become caught in a difficult cycle, it can feel as though the other person is the problem. One partner's reaction can trigger the other's, which then reinforces the original response. Over time, both people can feel hurt, misunderstood, or alone.
Rather than focusing on who is at fault, our work can bring the cycle into view. We can explore what happens for each person beneath the conflict, what each is reaching for or protecting, and how those responses keep the cycle going.
The goal is not to eliminate conflict or determine who is right. It is to create enough space for both partners to be heard, recognize the cycle they are caught in, and find new ways of responding that support greater security and closeness.
Changing the Cycle
Change often begins when couples can see the cycle as something happening between them, rather than as a problem caused by one person.
Together, we can slow down familiar interactions and make room for emotions, needs, and hopes that may be difficult to express during conflict. This can create opportunities to respond with greater openness, communicate more directly, and build a different kind of interaction.
My approach draws from Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), along with Narrative Therapy and other relational approaches. I see each partner as an important part of the process while also recognizing the larger contexts and stories that shape how couples relate.
If you're considering couples therapy, I offer a free phone consultation to talk about what is bringing you in and whether working together might be a good fit.